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I want to apologize to everyone for not being here for the past 24 days, as I have gone through Hell.

Between remediations and a mother interfering with things which were none of her business, I sank into a depression and was unable to sleep.

My cycles were completely fucked up and I have been barely able to function.  However, I have had great friends to pull me through this crap.

Let’s discuss the remediations first.

I simply could not give the advisor what she wanted and I nearly got thrown out of school for something that had nothing to do with conduct within the realm of the class, but with a technical advisor who couldn’t take a joke that I directed at myself.

Americans simply have no sense of humor anymore, so I wound up having to do these two stupid papers about professionalism and some other piece of garbage that I don’t remember.

I simply lost my mind during the process, because nothing was good enough.  Ergo, I have decided to return to psychology and acquire my master’s degree in that field, which should take me nineteen months to complete.

I fell into a depression and the relationship with which I was involved didn’t work because her mother got in the way and refused to mind her own business.  This depression was so bad that I barely got out of bed on most days.  I simply didn’t give a damn anymore.

I got into a lot of arguments with incredibly stupid people-one of the at church.  However, I think you read about that.  Well, I don’t go to church anymore-primarily because of this incident.  I’ve been to many churches over the course of my life, and they’re all fucked up in one sense or another.

Most Christians don’t even realize that they are going to Hell, and I have mentioned this before, as well as the reason why that is.  One cannot cling to Christ (Who fed the poor and healed the sick for free) while opposing social programs and raising the minimum wage.  If you agree with that position, you will burn like an American flag in the fires of Hell for your hypocrisy.

By the way, Happy Flag Day, you sons of bitches.

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Love is Love, Money Is Money-THERE’S A DIFFERENCE! By the Way-Don’t Judge!

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Yeah, I’m still thinking about this event that happened to she and I.

I’m not spinning like an acorn anymore (thanks, Ace Frehley), but it’s not leaving my mind-no matter what I do or the way I numb it.

The Acorn Is Spinning, 1988

No, I’m not drinking, but I do engage in other self-destructive behaviors-which I wish I had more willpower from which to refrain.  Chief among them, I know that my Dodge Dart can go well over 100 mph, and that’s not just a bad idea.  That’s seven shades of stupid when you do that at the age of 47.

By the way, I never did that with her in the car-again, seven shades of stupid.

It’s quite certain that she’s thinking about this, too.  This is because she is not the kind of woman who doesn’t keep her word.  She knew that I was worried about this possibility, because I voiced it.

Love is love and it shouldn’t be interfered with-by anyone.  It’s ironic that somehow the one who abused her passed the test and I didn’t.   This has happened throughout the centuries, as parents broke the hearts of their children by making prejudicial decisions or by choosing not understand the suitor’s experiences.

What did Jesus say about this?  Well, I (as almost always) have the answer to this question:

Matthew 7:1-5 1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

The Christian left has warned that the judging of others is one of the reasons why people detest Christianity.  It also holds the position that preachers who preach against greed, but have plenty besides cause people to doubt the validity of the Bible.

Even though I detest religion, I know Jesus was the Son of God, simply by all of the scientific and historical evidence.   However, that’s not enough for many Christians when you have a relationship with their daughters.  I came to the understanding that my rather lousy relationship with God the Father played into this-never mind that Christianity is what made me suicidal in the first place before I was even thirteen-years-old.  This happened via social ostracization, serious degrees of bullying, and the Church’s willingness to ignore my cries for help against the spiritual violence which happened to me.

What did Paul write about the quality of faith?

Romans 14:1 1Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.

What did Jude write about this?

Jude 22 New International Version (NIV)

22 Be merciful to those who doubt.

Kiss, Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Ronnie James Dio, Rainbow, Motley Crue, Iron Maiden, and Twisted Sister prevented my suicide, okay?  Enough said.

Here’s proof of that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYn8WOWJ2hU

The Church continues to experience problems in this area, as Christians judge actions without considering motivation.  Okay, I shouldn’t have played my Black Sabbath album in the sanctuary last week.  However, Sabbath prevented my suicide after the Church nearly caused it thirty-five years ago, and Christianity, not only nearly caused it, but did nothing to prevent it.

Hey, I’m a sinner like everyone else, but at least I try to understand why people are the way the are.  I guess we can thank liberalism and my psychology degree for that one, huh?  Parents need to consider the emotional consequences of their daughters before allowing their prejudices to ruin their lives.

Love is love and you’re not supposed to buy it.  While Christians say that money isn’t everything, that position quickly changes when they see a guy at the door who holds the hand of their daughter.

What did Paul write about wealth in 1 Timothy 6:17?

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.”

What did Paul write in 1 Corinthians 7:9 about sex and marriage?

1 Corinthians 7:9 New International Version (NIV)

“9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Oh, and as for my doing this for the money is concerned, as 1 Timothy 6:5 points out:

New International Version
“…and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.”

Remember that money is the problem in the first place.  I still certain that I wouldn’t be approved of even if I became a millionaire.  Funny, but I could have sworn that both Paul and Ronnie James Dio agreed that money had nothing to with love.

HYPOCRISY IS THE REASON WHY CHRISTIANITY IS DYING!

The breaking of a daughter’s heart comes at a price, so does breaking hearts of grandchildren, as that little girl cried and gave me one of the tightest hugs I have ever felt.

Christianity proves itself to be more phony as the days roll past because of those who sit in the pews.   Hell will be filled with Christians, and I can prove it.

Matthew 8:11-12 11I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

No one is ever good enough for a Christian parent.  Remember that the man of whom they approved beat their daughter severely  and he is still a negative force in their daughter’s life, as well as the lives of the grandchildren-and that’s not too bright, kids.

Any psychologist will tell you that.

 

 

IMG_0338

Isn’t that, right, Mr. Dio?

 

Ronnie-James-Dio

And Rabbi, what saith thou about my faith, since I accept the faith that I know you are God’s Son?

Matthew 17:20

 Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.”

Now, Rabbi, I struggle daily in my faith in You, and I despise Your Church because of its hypocrisy and judgments of others whom the members of the same choose not to understand.  What of that?  You saw what happened to me at church last week when I was physically threatened by one of the ushers, who said that he would: “kick your ass out of here.”   

Romans 14:1 1Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.

While we’re on the subject, what about the use of foul language by a Christian-especially by an usher or an elder?  Remember that he said he would throw my ass out, so I’m not the hypocrite here-especially in the midst of my pain.  Now, I’m guilty, too.  However, You saw me take responsibility for it.

James 3:9-12 9With the tongue we praise our LORD and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

Ephesians 5:4, New International Version
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather
thanksgiving.

Okay, Lord.  I admit that I’m also guilty of that-mainly because the deprivation which I have experienced has caused me to joke about the calmities of others.  Now, while that’s a sin, what is Your stance on my rather sick sense of humor?

Remember that he said he would throw my ass out, so I’m not the hypocrite here-especially in the midst of my pain.

Hm.  It seems like my relationship with God might be better than people believe-even if I do blast Black Sabbath in the church parking lo-or in the sanctuary, for that matter.  Jesus knows why I do that, and He gets it-even though I don’t understand everything about Him.

By the way, Christ has a message for you.

Matthew 5:7 New International Version (NIV)

Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.

So, what about those who go to church every Sunday and judge people whom they don’t understand?

Matthew 8:11-12 11I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Oops!

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How Bad Off Am I-Seriously?

 

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Living with traumatic brain injury is bad enough-and everyone here knows that I have it and how I got it during my infancy.

Not only do I have to wonder what the second seizure did to me in 2007, but I now have to worry whether or not I have chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE.  While football and soccer players are known to have this condition, I have to check this out because I suffered numerous blows to the head when I worked at Walmart.

You see, the pallets broke-a lot.

If the information which I am currently reviewing from the Mayo Clinic is any indication, I think that I will take a pass on the autopsy, because that seems to be the only time to make said diagnosis.

I do not have cognitive problems at this time.  However, my hands do shake and it’s harder for me to control my temper.

I try to control my impulses.

I am aggressive toward objects more than I am people-unless they don’t listen.

I have never been able to plan or execute executive function, so that’s nothing new.

I don’t drink or smoke (Phineas Gage became an alcoholic).

I gave up on the thought of committing suicide-years ago..

I become quite irate, but won’t physically attack.  As for verbal attacks, that’s a different paradigm.  Just don’t fuck with me, okay?

I have always had some motor impairment because of the meningitis, but my hands shake more often, so I must investigate.

There is a possibility that I may come up with this later in life because of the pallets which hit me in the head.

Yeah, God loves my ass, alright-enough to fuck me over more than once.

The best source for information on this is https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-tramatic-encephalopathy/symptoms-causes/syc-20370921.

This puts Proverbs 22:24 in perspective, does it not?  This is the verse which tells the ignorant not to make friends with an angry man and to not hang around anyone who has a short fuse.

Again, this particular book was not written by a doctor with a psychology degree, but by an idiot who had no understanding of the human brain, nor how it worked.  The Bible was written by ignorant fools who judged people they didn’t take the time to understand.  Hence, there is no reason to pay any attention to it, as ignorance only worsens relationships between people and leads to painful misunderstandings.

I have no remorse.  I have done nothing wrong.  I guess this goes back to a little thing which happened at church not too long ago.  Then again, the person who interfered was once a cop-and we all know how bright they are-not very.

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Bad Mouth Any Nation That Bad Mouths You!

American flag burning

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Has anyone noticed that this writer sticks it to the United States of America?

Aw!  Really?  You’re kidding!

There are two main reasons why this writer does what he does.

First, the Pledge of Allegiance is bullcrap, as we do not believe in liberty and justice for all-as you will see in this clip.

This is why WHITE cops get their heads blown off.

 

This is a clear abuse of power, as this black man did nothing wrong.  Here is what I posted to the Daily Mail’s Facebook page with regard to this white criminal, as he threatened to CREATE CHARGES against an INNOCENT BLACK MAN:

 

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1122337684575194&id=493177604157875

This is how American cops behave.

They commit civil rights violations on a daily basis. American police are today’s Gestapo and must be stopped by any means, as they threaten every American’s civil rights.

The black man in the video spoke to the officer respectfully. However, just as all white cops generalise, so can we generalise against all cops in the United States, as they continue to demonstrate their are racist behaviour-and there is your proof.

As for what they do to Americans with developmental disabilities, they have been known to murder them in cold blood. Many videos on YouTube will prove it.

Thank God for dead cops, as I have also never broken any laws, but been harassed numerous times for political reasons.

I do not have an arrest record.

Most American cops hate Democrats. How do they know my political affiliation? By the stickers on the back of my 2000 Plymouth Breeze.

American pigs don’t deserve respect.  If anything, this is about all they deserve from the United Nations.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8tFgIuPM98

The average American cop never entered this line of work to protect the public.  He entered this line of work to intimidate or execute those whom he deems to be inferior.

The same goes for any right-wing terrorist group-such as the Republican Party, the National Rifle Association, and the Ku Klux Klan.

Not all American liberals have surrendered to this madness which Trump has unleashed upon the United States, as you can clearly tell.  However, it’s getting more difficult to rally the frightened, because they don’t want to admit that their Hippie beliefs of peace and love at any price has failed-miserably.

Not only that, but Americans don’t stand for the rights of all-even many liberals fail at this-which leads to a problem of a different paradigm…one you would not expect from a liberal who proclaims freedom for all and that everyone is equal.

For example, we expect Republicans to marginalize the developmentally disabled.  And while Democratic officeholders, such as Charles Schumer (D)-New York, Maxine Waters (D)-California, Dianne Feinstein (D)-California, and Kamala Harris, (D)-California fight for every developmentally disabled person’s right to life, liberty, and their pursuit of happiness, the average grassroots Democratic volunteer is almost as ignorant as about any Republican.

This is because they do not take neurological considerations into account.  However, the main problem is that these are relatively old people who choose to remain as ignorant as their Republican counterparts when they see someone with autism or a traumatic brain injury behave in less than an appropriate manner.

To put it bluntly, some on the American left-especially the baby boomers are just pretty stupid and hypocritical.  While it’s one thing to prove that Republicans are the most bigoted sons of sisters to ever walk the planet, baby boomer Democrats tend to have their own problems with regard to bias.  This is especially true as they reject the new information, and they are hypocritical because they almost respond like the Republicans they hate when it comes to how they deal with someone with a traumatic brain injury.

There’s only one way to put this to just about any American senior citizen-especially the Hippie left which has now become as prejudiced as the Republican Party:

While Democrats are smart enough to pipe down, Republicans often tell me to leave this country if I don’t like how things go here-in other words, they are quite comfortable with their bigotry.

I guess someone should have told the Black Panthers and Rosa Parks to leave America, but they improved this hypocritical nation-whether Americans wanted to change or not.

 

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I Don’t Donate To The Wounded Dumbfuck Project. By the Way, Shouldn’t My Ex-Wife Had Compassion for MY TBI, Which I Acquired Via Meningitis?

 

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Metal’s Not The Problem. If You’re a Parent…It’s YOU

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I remember that parents were freaking out when Decline of Western Civilization, Part II-The Metal Years was released in 1988, because this was back when metal was blamed for everything in the American media, from suicide to juvenile delinquency.

Lo and behold, a recent study was published that debunked that propaganda:

https://wearechange.org/the-metalhead-kids-are-all-right/

A second article reiterates the point that kids like myself were actually the brightest in the class: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/3352230/Heavy-metal-a-comfort-for-the-bright-child.html

 

Hey, I’ve been listening to heavy metal since 1981 and I’ve been a heavy metal musician since 1984-and I haven’t eaten anyone.

Hence, I just tell these parents to get off their kids’ back whenever they whine about Avenged Sevenfold or Marilyn Manson; that they have no idea what they’re talking about-and then I relate to my own experiences with metal-without which I would not be here today to make the point.  I also tell the parents to get their priorities straight; that their kids wouldn’t have the emotional problems that they do if they (the parents) spent more POSITIVE time with them.

American parents spend the least amount of time with their children in the West and parents blame the media for THEIR LAZINESS.

Hey, it’s called telecommuting, okay?  They should try it sometime.

American conservatives waste so much time attacking music that the Russians could get the nuclear codes out of Donald Trump’s coat pocket and board the plane before any of our wonderful Republican “lawmakers” know what’s going on .

 

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Trying To Find Someone To Love While Living With Traumatic Brain Injury

 

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There are times when I want to be a prick and there are times when I don’t want to be a prick.

I’ll kill anyone in the political world with just my brain and my fingertips-and I express no remorse when doing so.  Actually, I enjoy it.

I like driving heartless conservatives straight into hypocritical mode because they’re not bright enough to figure out that they are exposing themselves for what (not who) they really are-especially in the age of the Trump regime, a time when disabled children laughed at and the children of the undocumented are punished for what their parents did twenty years ago.

Like I care who crosses into our border anyway!  Hell!  Not only did we steal this country from the Indians, but we stole half of it from Mexico, as well.  So, you won’t get me fitted for any of your brown shirts and red armbands.  Uh-uh, not going to happen.

And of course, it’s really fun when they throw the Bible in everyone’s face while they try to repeal Obamacare so that the insurance companies can literally make a bigger killing than they did before the imperfect system was signed into law.

However, when looking for someone to reciprocate the love I have for her, it’s worse than spending eternity in Hell.  Actually, I’d rather go to Hell-the music’s better over there.

For one thing, I don’t want a woman my age.  I want to father a child and I don’t really want someone who isn’t in the mood to have a seed planted in her at the age of 42, because I know that her kids are probably already grown.  Not only that, I really am not interested in sharing my time with her kids.

I don’t care that her grandchild has taken its first steps while she’s giving me oral.  That’s not fair to me because I wanted to get married at eighteen.  I’ll unplug that phone.

Second, I didn’t get to go on those trips that younger people do on the weekend.  I couldn’t leave on Friday nights to go to Las Vegas with my friends because I was stuck with Tommy, as his dad simply didn’t want to come home on Friday night.  He stayed out as long as he possibly could.

One Friday night, he didn’t come home at all and didn’t show up until Saturday morning.  You see, he “forgot” to call my relief.

That’s how narcissistic he was.

Now all my friends have kids of their own, so that experience has been stolen from me-and I’ll never forgive God for that.

Second, unless I get rich, it’s hard to find some nice young girl who would love a jackball like me.  Most American women are all about the money, and God help you if you get hurt at work.

They stop loving you because you can’t bring home the check anymore to fuel their shopping habit.  Oh, and I do have a backup plan if she’s really in it for the money-cancel the insurance and jump off the table.

“Hey, waitress!”

Now, the reason why I want someone so much younger than myself is because the experiences would be as new for her as they would be for me.  We all know that women who go with men to an exotic place think of someone else who had sex with them on that same beach.  They never admit to that, but we know that’s true-because we hear another name being whispered.

Just for the sake of jumping off of a 10-story building and landing on a cactus, let’s suppose that there is a nice young woman trying to find me.

Would she be able to handle my frustration and understand that I’m not going after her when my frontal lobes go out and I pound my desk out of frustration because the computer is acting up-again?

Would she believe that I don’t mean to yell?

Would she believe that my short-term memory is for crap and that it’s usually hard for me to say what I feel because my Broca’s Area is damaged?

That’s a gamble.

I’m sure there are foreign women who know that, but feminism teaches that all men are lying scumbags.  A good man simply doesn’t stand a chance, so he has to risk his health by being an asshole around the clock.

Women admit that they view nice guys are weak, but there is propaganda out there which tells women that nice guys are actually dangerous.

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/virginia-feingold-clark/nice-guys-new-bad-boys

Here’s another one!  Heben Nigatu wrote this lie entitled 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-
reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst?utm_term=.ss338zY3nd#.uwqAgVEAKJ

So, guys like me lose either way; we might as well be assholes.

Now, add traumatic brain injury into this mix, and guys like me are better off dead.

I’ve pretty much given up on Americans.  All they do is steal and cheat.  The funny part comes when they ask if you’re gay because you’re not married, so we can’t win.

Guys, we should get foreign girls and be husbands from the 1950s.  It’s probably going to be our only hope.

 

 

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Romance and Traumatic Brain Injury

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People (especially men) who have traumatic brain injury often have a difficult time in the dating world.

We don’t recognize social cues at times and anything nonverbal is a real pain in the ass.  This is especially true when you are dealing with the Internet.

One problem that people like myself have is the sense of timing, and that’s because the hippocampus has been damaged.  The hippocampus serves as a clock, so for most of us, it’s hard to know when to do what-and most of the time we miss completely.  We never mean to smother, but it happens.  This is because some of us made the opposite mistake in the past in waiting too long.

Some of us don’t even realize that someone is flirting with us-and I’m fucking serious about that.  It’s not that we’re stupid.  Our hippocampus has been affected.

Research from Columbia Medical Research Center show that a small part of the hippocampus, know as CA-2 is critical for retaining social recall.  CA-3 helps us remember a memory from partial cues.

I’m officially fucked here.  I’m so fucked right here that I look like a pornstar after a gangbang filmed by Vivid.

The hormone, Vasopressin, is linked to sexual motivation, bonding, and other like functions.

You can read the rest of the information from Psych Central here:

https://psychcentral.com/news/2014/02/24/brain-area-critical-for-social-skills-discovered-in-mouse-study/66334.html

This is something that I have had to learn the hard way, and now I have to learn how to properly maintain a steady pace.

As broken as I am in the chest, I have to admit that maybe this is what needed to happen.

What happens when you find the problem?  You learn how to find the solution.

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And So, It Begins….

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And so, it begins, my journey into the world of Education… all as I hear Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall playing in my brain.

You already know that I’m conflicted about this, as I kind of see this as selling out.  However, I need a job which has union support-especially after what I went through both at Walmart and as a community trainer and respite worker for someone with autism.

One of the things I already realize is that I can’t do things the same way I did when I was a community trainer.   I can’t open the trunk of my car and show some bigot or bully that I’m not bluffing when I threaten to take his teeth out, break his knees, and bash his spine when he makes fun of someone who has a developmental disability-which was something no one in the Company ever knew that I did, otherwise I’d have been fired.  That’s kind of funny, because I found myself engaging in that very act almost every day that I went to work with the guy.

There were always some idiots, usually white trash or white suburbanite pricks, who told me that he needed to be put away in an institution.  Tommy is the only reason I didn’t do it, as he would usually take me out of the situation before the bastard who said what he said wound up twitching on the floor in a pool of his own blood-Tommy knew that I would do it, too.  He started out completely non-verbal, but he learned how to plead me to leave by saying the word go.

I suppose one of the funnier episodes is when this white woman clutched her daughter and pulled her closer (because Tommy was black).  She became verbally abusive after I informed her that the white sheets were in Aisle-5.

Of course I said that right in front of her daughter!  Would you expect any less of me?  I mean, come on!

I defended him every day by destroying anyone who taunted him, and no one ever knew about it.  That’s kind of stupid, firing someone for defending the client by any means necessary, but I digress.

Do I want to teach?

No, because it’s so politicized now that it’s hardly worth it.  However, it’s possible that I’m being driven in a position I don’t want to go to wait for the opportunity in my true calling-which is what I do right now…writing.

Maybe I’m supposed to do this teaching crap, not only to tell kids what really went down in recent American history (although they’re going to have to answer according to the textbook), but to teach and enforce the idea of diversity-which is a dangerous concept in the America ruled by the Trump regime.

 

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Don’t Be Afraid To Live While You Wait!

Meme

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Were all gonna die
 Death is inevitable, so live while you wait. (c) 2017 by Jim Rousch

photo by Jim Rousch, driven by Jim Rousch car: 2015 Dodge Dart GT

This is a demo store for testing purposes — no orders shall be fulfilled. Dismiss

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