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It’s All I Wanted To Be

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Isn’t it funny how American parents ruin the lives of their children?

THIS was all I ever wanted to be when I was in high school.  I figured that only losers wore ties-and I still do.

I had long hair (until my mom made me get it cut-but I’d just grow it again), I played rhythm guitar, sang lead, and grew up and still lived in Los Angeles.  I wanted to look just like Blackie Lawless; fringed boots, leather pants, hair down to the middle of my back, and the speeding tickets to match-in my new Chevrolet Corvette.

KNAC was the radio station of the entire heavy metal universe and my best friend and I would practice late into the night until we hit the streets with our friends so that we could find a good time-which mainly consisted of playing video games at the liquor store (past legal curfew, of course).  We would then go back to his mom’s house around one in the morning and compose lyrics-with bands like Kiss, W.A.S.P., Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden playing the background.

By the way, I never told my mother where the hell I was.  I figured I could always call her collect if anything went wrong-which nothing ever did.

Back when we formed the band in 1985, I told him about some ideas for the stage show; that we would be set ablaze by lightning strike and that I would literally fly over 100 feet in the air above the audience via mechanical wings.  Sure, Gene Simmons of Kiss spewed fire and Mick Mars of Motley Crue had his legs set ablaze, but I wanted to outdo both of them.

I wanted to set ablaze by lightning strike.  The only band to beat that would be GWAR (God What An Awful Racket).

As you can tell, we never got a record deal.  The lead guitarist still plays, as do I.  He’s a family man now, and I would like to be one day.  The funny thing is that I’m actually surprised that I have lived this long, as I wanted to live a life of excess insanity to match the intense depression I felt in those days.

Whether or not we would have made it would have been anyone’s guess.  We had the same odds as any the other jackballs in Los Angeles, California.  I still have the pipes to belt out any note I wish from my lungs and my axe skills have improved (ya think?) since those days, but this is all I ever wanted to be.  And if you ask if we did drugs, I’m afraid I’ll just have to challenge you to a duel.

Your pistol, of course, will be empty-much to your surprise, because people have asked me that stupid question since the 1980s-and I don’t put up with it anymore.

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I guess I’ll have to find another way get that fistful of diamonds-make that two fistfulls of diamonds!

 

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Uncle Lemmy Was Right

 

Yeah, I’m still staggering a little from this.  Once again, However, heavy metal is here when God has left both of us empty.

As for me, God has never comforted me in times like this-because God doesn’t care.  If He did, I’d have been married decades ago. It’s always been heavy metal.   If God didn’t want people to be lonely, the Bastard would adhere to Genesis 2:18 and 1 Corinthians 7:9, but Paul admits His hypocrisy in Hebrews 11:39.

How many times have I told the Father not to fuck with 1 Corinthians 7:9?  Will He never learn?  What a fool!  That asshole knows that I have wanted to be married since I was 18, so I owe Him nothing.  He owes me.  He also owes my ex.

Take it away, Uncle Lemmy.   You’ve always been able to be there for me in ways God the Father never was.

Ace of Spades-Motorhead, 1980

That punk forgot that I’m the Joker, and I can be and do anything I want-and still win.

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Metal’s Not The Problem. If You’re a Parent…It’s YOU

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I remember that parents were freaking out when Decline of Western Civilization, Part II-The Metal Years was released in 1988, because this was back when metal was blamed for everything in the American media, from suicide to juvenile delinquency.

Lo and behold, a recent study was published that debunked that propaganda:

https://wearechange.org/the-metalhead-kids-are-all-right/

A second article reiterates the point that kids like myself were actually the brightest in the class: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/3352230/Heavy-metal-a-comfort-for-the-bright-child.html

 

Hey, I’ve been listening to heavy metal since 1981 and I’ve been a heavy metal musician since 1984-and I haven’t eaten anyone.

Hence, I just tell these parents to get off their kids’ back whenever they whine about Avenged Sevenfold or Marilyn Manson; that they have no idea what they’re talking about-and then I relate to my own experiences with metal-without which I would not be here today to make the point.  I also tell the parents to get their priorities straight; that their kids wouldn’t have the emotional problems that they do if they (the parents) spent more POSITIVE time with them.

American parents spend the least amount of time with their children in the West and parents blame the media for THEIR LAZINESS.

Hey, it’s called telecommuting, okay?  They should try it sometime.

American conservatives waste so much time attacking music that the Russians could get the nuclear codes out of Donald Trump’s coat pocket and board the plane before any of our wonderful Republican “lawmakers” know what’s going on .

 

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Christians Mock Those Who Struggle

Everyone makes a mistake, and mine was going to church today, because I want my niece to be different than the way I turned out.  The pastor’s sermon was contradictory to my life, as it never worked out the way the Bible claims it will.  However, what was to come, was even worse.

Yes, I take communion, as I know Christ rose.  However, I usually walk out of the sanctuary afterwards and wait for all the other bullshit to end so that we can all get the hell out of there.

Having a degree in psychology, I noticed a purple brochure about depression and I absorbed it, saying: “This is a lot of what early psychologists said back in the 19th Century.  See?  Always trust Science.”

“I’d rather trust the Bible,” an older woman of her early seventies replied in a burnt orange dress.

“The same Bible that tells you not to make friends with an angry man in Proverbs?”

Here is where it all began:­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

“Why are you here?” she asked insultingly.

“Do you realize that people like you nearly caused me to commit suicide and that heavy metal is the reason why I’m still here?  You’re a heartless bitch to say what just said to me.”

The conversation deteriorated to the point at which I was asked to go outside, but I returned and found her.

“Jude 1:22, bitch!  Have mercy to those who doubt!”

The problem with Christianity is that it will not acknowledge the accuracy of Science.  And while some will point out that Science is occasionally rewritten, I remind the critics that more discoveries are made as the technology improves.

“Holy books are full of crap because they do not explain behaviors, but merely condemn them.”

Now, you might ask why someone with a degree in psychology still struggles emotionally.  I have brain damage, you know.  That’s a major factor.  The only problem is that Christians don’t believe in Science.

Perhaps what is most ironic is the fact that listening to Black Sabbath’s final release, The End, took all of the misery away.

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Starting Over

 

Having to start over again as a Master’s candidate is interesting when one has traumatic brain injury.

The classes seem to move a little more quickly, but that might just be my perception, as this is only my first class.

I’m in somewhat of a luxurious position, because this is my only job.  I don’t drive forty-five minutes one way and an hour and a half en route to my abode.  That would be L.A.-and that probably would drive me to commit homicide…even though I do miss Los Angeles, with its culture, its scenes, Topanga Canyon Road, Zuma Beach, The Lighthouse in Hermosa Beach, and so on.

On second thought, the gas prices would drive me crazy, too.

I remember that gas was $5 a gallon before George W. Bush left office-and that was in the San Fernando Valley.

However, I digress.

I realize that more is expected of me at this level, but I know that my brain can handle this.  We’ll get through this two yearlong intestinal tract together.

Armed with a learning disability, I know that I have a lot of information for my fellow classmates on how to help these kids.  The strangest thing is that I never thought I would sign up to teach-I never wanted to.

Why am I pursuing this degree?  Teachers are unionized (unless they are in a private school), and I deserve the extras which come with unionization-especially a pension.
Having to start over again as a Master’s candidate is interesting when one has traumatic brain injury.

The classes seem to move a little more quickly, but that might just be my perception, as this is only my first class.

I’m in somewhat of a luxurious position, because this is my only job.  I don’t drive forty-five minutes one way and an hour and a half en route to my abode.  That would be L.A.-and that probably would drive me to commit homicide…even though I do miss Los Angeles, with its culture, its scenes, Topanga Canyon Road, Zuma Beach, The Lighthouse in Hermosa Beach, and so on.

On second thought, the gas prices would drive me crazy, too.

I remember that gas was $5 a gallon before George W. Bush left office-and that was in the San Fernando Valley.

However, I digress.

I realize that more is expected of me at this level, but I know that my brain can handle this.  We’ll get through this two yearlong intestinal tract together.

Armed with a learning disability, I know that I have a lot of information for my fellow classmates on how to help these kids.  The strangest thing is that I never thought I would sign up to teach-I never wanted to.

Why am I pursuing this degree?  Teachers are unionized (unless they are in a private school), and I deserve the extras which come with unionization-especially a pension.

Pensions are rare now because of the 401K-and a good number of people have to work longer because of that.  Do I feel sorry for them?   No.  Educated people don’t do stupid things, like opting out of guaranteed money for playing the stock market.

That’s why I have opted for this thankless job.  It’s better than being a community trainer and you are rewarded when the time comes-unless a Republican comes and takes it from you first.

That’s why I have opted for this thankless job.  It’s better than being a community trainer and you are rewarded when the time comes-unless a Republican comes and takes it from you first.

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I Don’t Know What To Call This

I don’t know what to call this, but one can tell that I struggle with the timing because my coordination needs to improve.

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No Title Compostion

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What’s With The Sound?

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Music Recording

People with developmental disabilities are more capable than you believe.

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https://freedomfortheoppressed.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Recording-11.m4a

 

 

Have you ever noticed how the first notes on these recordings are louder than those on the rest of the tune?
Okay, I’m no sound man.  Hell, I’m half-deaf as it is, and it’s not from being a heavy metal musician for 33 years.  After all, Paul Stanley was already half-deaf when Wicked Lester formed in 1970, so that’s not the problem.
Furthermore, there was a period in my life when I worked behind the camera, and that was back in the early 1990s when I worked with Allan Cameron in Santa Clarita, California, so I know a few things about camerawork.  However, back to the damn sound.
It would be easier to understand why these recordings are so goofy if the opening notes were as screwy as the rest.  However, that is not the case.  So, what gives?
Sure, it makes me sound like I haven’t a clue of what the hell I’m doing-and maybe I don’t.  I won’t argue about that idea in the sound realm, because I’m only using a $1200 Hewlett-Packard or (even sillier) an i-Phone (I’m serious!).
Here’s what is probably the least believable.  The recordings from my i-Phone are of higher quality than those which I record straight from the computer.  Hell, I still get better recordings off compact cassette!  Yes, I still use compact cassettes and old-fashioned tape recorders.
If I know me, I probably haven’t set up the microphones correctly.
Do I really do music for the money?  No, I’m 47-years-old now, and I’m pretty much recording this material for any descendants I might have a century or two down the line.  Realistically, about the only way I could ever cut any kind of album is if I made it in this business first-and then, it would have to be after I’m somewhat established.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Although I’m usually the first one to say that those who look at reality may as well give up now, that is the reality of my situation as a musician-especially a metal musician.
The strange thing about this recording is that it’s very much of the 1970’s variety.  I personally hear elements of Kiss and Led Zeppelin from about 1975 in something that I just recorded last night (October 7, 2017) around 10:30 p.m.
While the notes might be a bit heavier, the sound is very much from the days of Watergate and the Arab oil embargo against the West.
I would record two guitars, but I’m not quite sure that I could pull it off with this computer.  I would probably need a second computer; one to play the rhythm and the other with which to record leads.  I don’t know.  I guess I’ll have to ask my original lead guitarist or another friend of mine who has worked with Sheena E. and Chicago.
Come to think of it, I wonder if he’s playing at the Baked Potato tonight.

 

 

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Another Nameless Metal Composition

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Music Recording

People with developmental disabilities are more capable than you believe.

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I realize what a lot of you are thinking.

 

This guy kind of sucks on the axe.  However, you did read some time ago that I never claimed to be Dimebag Darrell Abbott or Randy Rhoads.

 

This composer has a developmental disability and has had two seizures.  Hence, he records the tune while the notes are still in his mind.  There is virtually no short-term memory, and it’s too late by the time some of the melody returns.

 

The worst thing about it is the melody is never the same once some of it returns to my mind.

 

Just be happy that I’m keeping the classical heavy metal era alive through these compositions.  Maybe I’ll have a kid one day who can perfect his or her old man’s works, but these are the best I can do for right now.  Be grateful that this Jack the Ripper is not a dull boy by only displaying one type of material on here.

 

There are different sides to my personality, other than being a cut-throat liberal, and I want to share some of the other sides.  These recordings are only one verse long, as one should figure that the other one or two verses are the same-just like in a hymnal.

 

You probably have no idea that my hands shake as I type.  Well, they do.  I’m lucky that I can do any of this.

 

My hands shake because of what has happened to me over the course of time.  There are times when I should record the compositions in pieces and take short breaks in between.

 

My left hand shakes as I type this, in fact, and this is probably something that I will have to deal with for the next 50 or 60 years.

https://freedomfortheoppressed.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Recording-7.m4a

 

This is just more proof that people with disabilities can do more than what most people expect.

This is a demo store for testing purposes — no orders shall be fulfilled. Dismiss

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