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by Jim Rousch

Don’t call me oppressed right now. I’m fucking bored, because I’m in a motel room with nothing to do.

The least someone could do is mail me a book of matches and a gallon of gasoline, but the problem with that plan is that everyone will know who did that, so there’s point in doing something that stupid. Hence, I just have to ride this one out.

I didn’t do well in the class I was in-except for the last week. I knew it was that mood stabilizer the very moment I finished three weeks in one. I also knew that was the problem when I returned to normal. All I knew was that I couldn’t do my research-and it annoyed the hell out of me, because I didn’t feel like myself.

The wrong medication in a damaged brain like mine spells a fabulous disaster, but on the other hand, my psychiatrist told me that over 99 % of babies who acquire meningitis don’t make it to grad school-and I wonder if that is because they aren’t pushed, like I was.

At least I know I’m bored.





This Is What Brain Damage Sounds Like, Motherfucker!


This is what brain damage sounds like! 

Recorded in 2011 at Guitar Center in Irvine, California.

99.5%-And You Never Know, So Don’t Be A Religious Hypocrite!



I just received the final score in my second class of the Master’s level of Psychology: 99.5%.


That’s right, 1/2 a point from a perfect score.

Keep in mind that my frontal lobes are fucked beyond all recognition, I’ve been hit in the head by Walmart’s heavy and structurally unsound wooden pallets, I’ve had two seizures, and meningitis during infancy, and have you got? 


 Be careful, because I fling stringy boogersnot at anyone who pisses me off or refuses to give another person who suffers from traumatic brain injury the same courtesy that person would give an American war criminal who raped little girls in Iraq.  It’s nothing personal, or anything.  It’s just that my frontal lobes are now a thing of the past, and the frontal lobes maintain one’s ability from doing something like that.  

You know that verse, Romans 7:15-17, in which Paul admits that he can’t maintain the same self-control that he preaches in Titus 1:8 and 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.  Verse 13 is hilarious because Paul mentions sexual immorality, but he also mentiones in the next chapter, verse 9, that those who cannot maintain self control should be allowed to marry so that they don’t burn with passion or sin against their own bodies.


“Sorry that you have a green, slimey boogersnot in your right eye, but I wasn’t particularly thrilled with your mockery, and I guess this is as a good a time as any to have you be the third person, other than my doctor and myself, to tell you this, but I just came down with H5N-1, and I’m really contagious.  I’m quite sure that bird flu will be quite the adventure for both of us, but I told you never fuck with someone whose frontal lobes are just for looking at.

“I didn’t want to do it, but you shouldn’t have mouthed off like that about people who struggle with disabilities.”

It seems that was the direction Paul was going; as if to say: “I didn’t want to do it, but damaged frontal lobes mean one has either little or no self-control, so I guess you’re fucked because you just had to take a swipe at the developmentally disabled.  Have a nice day.”


In conclusion, just because someone knows that they shouldn’t do something upon learning of learning about their bird flu diagnosis (like spit a stringy boogie in your eye) doesn’t mean their frontal lobes will prevent them from ruining your day if you cross them.

Pissing off the disabled (or an advocate of the same) is like a box of chocolates which really turned out to be Ex-Lax.  Those frontal lobes will get us every time, and it’s even worse when you’re dealing with someone who had meningitis in 1971 or a former railroad foreman who was the victim of a prem in which a premature detonation in which a tampering iron that was 43 inches long, 1 1/4 inches in diameter and weighed 13 1/4 pounds shot through his skull (source:, and that’s going to destroy your ability to keep your middle finger down, as Gage was unable to maintain any kind of employment because he became a profanity-laced alcoholic who flew into rages.

Now, what was all that crap that  Paul wrote about self-control, in addition to the ignorance King Solomon wrote in Proverbs 22:24-25 about keeping an angry man isolated?

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”

Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?   Because you will read in the sixth verse of that very chapter:

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

What did Jesus say?

According to Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV) Christ rebuked the hypocritical and the truly stupid when He said:

“Do not judge others, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be applied to you.  Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck in your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Have a nice day.

It’s an accomplishment when someone gets a final score of 99.5% in Psychology 600, but to do that with severe brain damage qualifies one for God-like status.

Don’t Let The Bastards Stand In Your Way-‘Cause I’m Not




The worst thing to be when you have any kind of disability that you were born with or acquired in your early years is cooperative.

The reason why no one with a disability should ever cooperate with society is because society sees you as a problem, so be their problem.

Be the biggest baddest thorn you can possibly be.  Don’t do anything they tell you to do because you will never give you credit for the accomplishment.

When some of these right-wing assholes see where I acquired my degree, they hold it against me.  Hey, the founder created the University of Phoenix, Dr. John Sperling, made it possible for working adults to go to school without it affecting their work schedule.

Oh, people went to night school back then, of course.  However, they were smashed by the time they had to clock in in the morning.  Another change came with the advent of the Internet and the choice of obtaining an online education-which is how I do it.

University of Phoenix has been very good to me with regard to my learning disabilities.

Had I had the option of online education in the early 1990s, I would not be the angry person that I am now, because I would have been able to earn the same things that every one else has.  However, colleges that tried to help those with learning disabilities had the stupidest games, like Mavis Beacon Does Typing.

Are you high?

What was I supposed to get out of a game that was meant for a kid in the Seventh Grade?

I’m sure that Dr. Sperling thought the same thing.

The classes are challenging, but I pull through.  I already have my Bachelor’s and I’m going for my Master’s.

Will I forgive America for what it allows kids who have learning disabilities to go through?  Of course not.  However, I do thank Dr. Sperling for his creation and the chance for me to catch up.

Once I catch up, I become the night prowler, so get out of my way.  Oh, don’t worry.  I’ll just play the fiddle, just as Nero did.  He’s one of my historical heroes, you know.

If I’m doing it, you can do it.  Will I ever forgive this nation for what I’ve been forced to experienced?  That would a bad example.  Someone with a learning disability learns to dominate, conquer, and treat as they were treated.

You Call Yourself A Republican? Heed This One’s Advice, Or Shut the Fuck Up!






Springfield, Ills, April 6, 1859

Messrs. Henry L. Pierce, & others.


Your kind note inviting me to attend a Festival in Boston, on the 13th. Inst. in honor of the birth-day of Thomas Jefferson, was duly received. My engagements are such that I can not attend.

Bearing in mind that about seventy years ago, two great political parties were first formed in this country, that Thomas Jefferson was the head of one of them, and Boston the head-quarters of the other, it is both curious and interesting that those supposed to descend politically from the party opposed to Jefferson should now be celebrating his birthday in their own original seat of empire, while those claiming political descent from him have nearly ceased to breathe his name everywhere.

Remembering too, that the Jefferson party were formed upon its supposed superior devotion to the personal rights of men, holding the rights of property to be secondary only, and greatly inferior, and then assuming that the so-called democracy of to-day, are the Jefferson, and their opponents, the anti-Jefferson parties, it will be equally interesting to note how completely the two have changed hands as to the principle upon which they were originally supposed to be divided.

The democracy of to-day hold the liberty of one man to be absolutely nothing, when in conflict with another man’s right of property. Republicans, on the contrary, are for both the man and the dollar; but in cases of conflict, the man before the dollar.

I remember once being much amused at seeing two partially intoxicated men engage in a fight with their great-coats on, which fight, after a long, and rather harmless contest, ended in each having fought himself out of his own coat, and into that of the other. If the two leading parties of this day are really identical with the two in the days of Jefferson and Adams, they have performed the same feat as the two drunken men.

But soberly, it is now no child’s play to save the principles of Jefferson from total overthrow in this nation.

One would start with great confidence that he could convince any sane child that the simpler propositions of Euclid are true; but, nevertheless, he would fail, utterly, with one who should deny the definitions and axioms. The principles of Jefferson are the definitions and axioms of free society.

And yet they are denied and evaded, with no small show of success.

One dashingly calls them “glittering generalities”; another bluntly calls them “self evident lies”; and still others insidiously argue that they apply only to “superior races.”

These expressions, differing in form, are identical in object and effect–the supplanting the principles of free government, and restoring those of classification, caste, and legitimacy. They would delight a convocation of crowned heads, plotting against the people. They are the van-guard–the miners, and sappers–of returning despotism.

We must repulse them, or they will subjugate us.

This is a world of compensations; and he who would be no slave, must consent to have no slave. Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it.

All honor to Jefferson–to the man who, in the concrete pressure of a struggle for national independence by a single people, had the coolness, forecast, and capacity to introduce into a merely revolutionary document, an abstract truth, applicable to all men and all times, and so to embalm it there, that to-day, and in all coming days, it shall be a rebuke and a stumbling-block to the very harbingers of re-appearing tyranny and oppression.

Your obedient Servant
A. Lincoln–


Now, you who call yourselves Republicans claim that you are of the Party of Lincoln.  Yet, you have been caught violating voting rights against blacks and Latinos, most of you do not support the Americans with Disabilities Act-which a Republican was politically blackmailed into signing in 1990.

You believe that immigrants will subjugate you, but the jobs they performed when they were here are not being filled by you.  Hence, lazy white people have rotted entire fields because they didn’t want to work, and the price of groceries has increased because of your laziness.

By the way, I hope all of you white supremacists starve before you are able to bring another inbred thing into the world.

Abraham Lincoln supported unionization.  You do not.
Abraham Lincoln supported freedom.  You do not.
Abraham Lincoln (save for one misdeed) was a humanitarian.  You modern-day Republicans, those of you who are bewitched by the occultism of Trumpism, aren’t even human beings.

Why Put It Off?




157Actually, to Hell with it.

Why put it off when I really have nothing to do right now?

I decided to begin reading the first chapter of my new textbook (I go to school online) and answered three questions-all because I was bored.

I am one of those who needs something to do.  I can’t just sit there as if I’m taking a dump.  Don’t you just hate that?  Doesn’t it just feel like a waste of time?  That’s why I decided to take the initiative and get things done now, a day ahead of schedule.

Am I supposed to do that?  No.  However, have any of you ever known me to do what I’m supposed to do?  Hell, no!  I don’t follow orders, and I stopped doing that when I was thirteen.  The only time I do as I’m asked is when Jennie is involved.

She would be proud of me for getting ahead.  Then again, she is from a different culture, where initiative is rewarded.  While Americans claim to award initiative, we really condemn it, as we don’t like people who move before anyone else.

Like I give a shit.  I have places to go and people to fuck with.  So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just be on my merry way and do what I’m supposed to do tomorrow.

Never put off tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.




School starts Tuesday, but I’m not even worried about it.  I practically diarrheaed past my psychology classes as an undergrad, so I should be able to handle this with practically no problems.

The reason for the confidence is because I have an understanding of the brain.  Do I know everything?  Of course not.  That’s why I’m still in school.  However, psychology is a lucid science as we gain a greater understanding of the human brain, neurology being almost like auto shop.  After all, brakes are brakes, are they not?  It doesn’t matter whether you have an ABS (anti-lock braking system) or EBS (electronic braking system), the principle is the same: stop the motherfucking car before we go over the God damn cliff!

“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do?!”

I forget whether I have thirteen months or nineteen.  Regardless, I will do much better in life than anyone expected.

Hell, that’s already the case, because no one thought I was going to graduate from college, let alone high school.  That’s how damaged my brain is from meningitis.  We further have to consider what the pallets and chokeholds did to me.   I’m now going to throw the axes at graduate school.

My sister doesn’t agree with this, but we don’t agree on much these days anyway.  While she’s looking out for me (because she does care), she’s not sure that I can do this because….well, I don’t know.  She just has, let’s just say….her doubts.

It’s not that she thinks I’m stupid, because I was surprised when our mother informed me that my sister (who runs two mental hospitals, has her own private practice, and teaches at two universities) told our mother that she thinks I’m smarter than she is.

It’s my frustration with computers which worries her.

Well, that is why I go to the campus itself, because my Broca’s Area is FUBAR and I can’t explain things the way that I want to to the technicians.

The Broca’s Area is responsible for transforming thought into speech, and I just experience difficulties explaining things-except through print.  This is part of the reason why many people doubt my intellect-which explains why I’m not one of those “better citizens” you meet on the street, and I just love it when people try to guess what I’m trying to tell them because it puts me under more pressure and just makes me want to do bad things to them-so, I get it.

Thankfully, I have a woman who understands that I have this problem, as my ex-wife didn’t believe me.

I should be okay.  And once I figure it out, I’ll help the ones who started out just like me.

My Letter to the Pastor

I think I wrote about what had happened to me at Ascension Lutheran Church in Littleton, Colorado earlier this year when I was viciously and violently attacked by a retired police officer without provocation.

All I tried to do was educate some ignorant woman about traumatic brain injury and he tackled me to the hard floor-without asking any questions as to what was going on.

This is the letter to the pastor.  It’s sad, because he is a good man.



Clyde had no right to attack me. He is going to Hell because of Matthew 18:6-7 and Mark 9:42, as I found no justice in God’s House after he viciously attacked me. I was no threat to that woman at any time.

I know Science and I know the Bible. Science is the one with credibility because it explains why people do what they do, while the Bible only condemns behaviours which the authors of the same didn’t understand.

By the way, I wrote an article on the entire thing. It’s in today’s edition of The title of the article is Back In School And Other Oddities of MMXVIII.

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you this: I’m read in at least 40 countries-including Russia, China, and Vietnam.


And all Clyde had to do was either find out what was going on before he did something stupid (as cops always do) or try to make amends when he found out he was wrong. What was that Christ said about what to do when you sin against a brother?
Oh, here it is! Matthew 5:23-24!

Jim Rousch

Sent from my iPad




Religions are not interested in understanding people who struggle.  Why do that when it’s easier to write them off and condemn them for circumstances which are beyond their psychological or physical control?  This is why most Christians vote Republican; as they don’t want to understand anyone who is different than they are.  It’s much easier to condemn that person who needed their help and dispose of them in a state prison or a sanitarium.

The reason why life will be intolerable for Christians after 2 Peter 3:4 comes to pass will have nothing to do with their assertion that Jesus Christ is the Messiah.  It’s all going to be payback for the way Christians have treated others for centuries: with judgemental hatred.





Final Decision



After careful consideration, I have decided to leave the College of Education and return to psychology in order to seek a Master’s degree in the discipline.

The tragedy is that this could have been avoided had a person in Technical Support not been an asshole to me, as I had tried to describe my brain injury to the motherfucker, and all he knew to do was to tell me to ‘calm down-which isn’t what you say to someone who is already agitated and is attempting to do exactly that.

People who are supposedly college educated need to understand the inner workings of the brain.  If they can give a rapist who destroyed a 12-year-old girl in Haditha while in American military uniform the benefit of the doubt, I expect the same courtesy.

I don’t think he was particularly pleased when I said that to him, as it might have hit him in the nay-nays.

Good, as that’s what he would deserve for demonstrating the idiocy to fight in Iraq in the first place-if he’s actually guilty as charged.

When asked by Administration what would prevent me from having a meltdown, I replied, “I worked with an autistic dude for nearly ten years.”

Don’t give me this ‘professional dialogue’ bullshit.  We’re all human beings, damn it.  We’re not robots.

If telling people off on the phone makes me a son of a bitch, that’s fine by me.  That’s why they get paid the big money.  However, reaching out to someone who has suffered trauma that is decades-old is completely different, and I actually have compassion for that.  This is because I know exactly what it’s like.

I know what it’s like to relive past trauma in a church.  In fact, I just experienced it.

I know what it’s like to have no friends.

I know what it’s like to be so fucking depressed that you want to eat iron with a gunpowder chaser.

I survived, and I want those people to know that they can do the same.  Sometimes, one has to be a bigger bastard than the one who is bullying them, as that’s how one gets another to leave them alone.

There really is no right or wrong anymore, as the ‘guardians of morality’ are more corrupt than we are.  Therefore, one should throw all guilt aside and do what comes naturally.

Trust me, you’ll be the better for it.

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