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Charlie Brown Needed Paxil

This is one of these odd moments I have when I just think up the weirdest shit.

I mean, this site doesn’t always have to be so fucking serious, right?  So, let’s play with something right here, right now.

Did you ever stop and think how much pussy Charlie Brown could have gotten had he not suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder?

He was a decent pitcher, but things just never went his way.  Personally, I think he should have had a few more pitches in his arsenal, as his fastball was just too predictable.  I mean, I’m sure that even could have hit his fastball.

Why didn’t he throw an eephus every now and then?

Remember that pitch?

For those of you who have never heard of that pitch, it was thrown a lot in the 1970s.  It’s a slow-speed pitch that climbed up and went down.  A recent example of this pitch can be shown here.  Watch Clayton Kershaw of the Los Angeles Dodgers throw this.


Why didn’t

Schroeder  ever call for that one?  Why did he just call for heaters?

There were girls who loved Charlie Brown, but he was too shy to realize it.

Marcy and Peppermint Patty fought over him.  Lucy was a bitch, but probably loved him in her own warped way.  Even the Little Red-Haired girl admired his tenacity.  Watch The Peanuts Movie (2015) and you’ll see that she admired him so much she gave him her address as to where she was staying at summer camp.

Charlie Brown was never a loser.  He was the insecure part of us that just needed a little boost.

Give the damn boy some Paxil, will ya?


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